Processing the process

30 09 2010

Weather: High: 71º & partly sunny. Heading into Fall with lovely chilly temps to follow.

I’ve been lax in my blogging, but I have a viable excuse.

I’ve started the submission process. Of course I’m tentatively sending out queries to agents first, parceling them out at a snail’s pace.

It’s kind of grueling and exhausting and nerve-wracking and, to be bluntly honest, I keep having to stifle the urge to abandon my efforts and run screaming.

It’s not that agents & editors are mean people  and I expect them to return my newbie efforts with a slap and a scornful statement of derision. It’s that I have researched and read advice and done everything I can to fit my queries to the requested formats…and I’m terrified that with one badly turned sentence, I may have shot my chances of getting published. It’s the self-flagellating perfectionist in me that keeps making my chest tighten when I hit the send button.  It’s still too early in the process to know whether I have done well or badly. It will be a few weeks before I get a rejection or, ::crosses fingers:: a request for a partial or, heaven hopes, a full MS.

But this is the process. I have it on good account from others far more well versed in publishing that it never really gets any easier.

It leads to second guessing your story. And wondering if you were a fool to pick up the pen in the first place. I read horror stories from various agents and publishers about receiving queries from people with egos & arrogance that would make Narcissus blush.  At least in this situation, I am spared.

We’ll see. Hopefully my stories will find a home.

Of course, I’ve now headed into that scariest of second phases: My next book. Book One (When the Lights Go Down) is really the first book of a Trilogy. I have the second book well under way, though it’s not coming along as easily as the first one. And the third book, well…it’s been outlined.

On the non-writing front, Brian and I are still struggling to get our house ready for sale and get ourselves moved to Seattle. Considering the time of year, we are now having to move our plans to next year.  (Trying to drive through the Cascades in winter in a Jetta? Yeah, Donner Party comes to mind.) We’re trying to paint the situation as more time to get things done, but we’re understandably dispirited. Still, nothing’s a done deal until we’re 6 feet under, so still we keep moving forward.

Speaking of the husbeast. He had finished a number of stained glass pieces. You can visit his website and I’ll give a heads up when the pieces are available for sale. It should be any day now.

And that’s the news that fit to print. I’ll be blogging more frequently now that I’ve jumped into the publishing process with both feet. Let’s hope I have some good news to report soon.

My earworm for the week:
Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) by My Chemical Romance



A grey and mellow Thursday…

8 10 2009

Weather: High: 54º & rainy. Ahhhh FALL.

The Universe has picked a particularly horrible day to kick me and the husband in the proverbial balls.

I won’t bore y’all with the details but let’s just say it’s a lovely melange of financial downturn and family drama all wrapped up in a nice migraine inducing package.  Sigh. Really getting tired of this Sisyphean cycle.

Was happy to see that they finally posted one of the acoustic performances by 3DG from here in Chicago. Feel like I’m a lapsed fangirl. I remember when I would be lining up in the rain for my bands. Old age is not kind to the slavish fan girl. Sigh.

Digestive tract is taking a hit from the stress barrage. Hope I feel better before the weekend.

On the writing front, re-writes are taking up much of my time. I’m kinda liking the new direction of the new opening scenes, but their not popping as well as I’d like. Still, need to get the words down, then the crafting can happen .

Ah well. Blogging continues to take a hit on the daily front. Will try to concoct more interesting content tomorrow.

Now playing: Three Days Grace – On My Own
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday and the air is ripe with WTF?!?!?

7 07 2009

Weather: High: 76 degrees and partly sunny. Nice for a day in mid- July

Started the day off on completely the wrong foot. In fact it may have been someone else’s foot entirely. Brokers calling the minute I get to my seat? Check. PEBKAC errors? Check. Heidi having to push the vein down in her forehead. Oh major check.

Michael Jackson’s memorial service is today.  While I’m sad that he passed away and respect his legacy, the hysteria and media coverage is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Therefore I am merely opting to not watch the mania. If other wish to that is their business and I will not make any disrespectful or snarky comments. I remember how I felt the day Freddie Mercury died. So I understand, though I don’t share the same feelings of loss for MJ.  ::Shrugs:: Everyone will mourn or not mourn as they wish.  No need for people to be rude or mean on either side of the fence.Nuff Said.

Working while having YouTube up on my second monitor blasting the 3DG live at the Palace concert is most delightful. And cubemate has left her radio off today so I’m not having to compete with horrifying soul-suckin MOR light rock. FTW!

Don’t think I mentioned this but speaking of 3DG, had an interesting conflux of things related to the band yesterday. Not only did Laurell K Hamilton reveal that most of “Blood Noir” (the latest Anita Blake Book) was written while listening to One-X, but also that Jason (one of the werewolves in the books) was linked to “Animal I Have Become“. Now mind you, this is one of my favorite authors mentioning one of my favorite bands. And specifically the song (and vid) that spawned Devon and the whole “When The Lights Go Out” storyline. Freakish coincidence. And then I get home to find my two 3DG shirts I’d ordered had arrived. Think I need to send a note off to the lads and tell them they’re influencing a lot of creativity out here even while they’re confined to a recording studio in Vancouver! LOL! Hopefully the new album, whenever it comes out (I believe I’ve heard rumblings for October…) will be accompanying the next story. “Carrion Dreams” is next on the horizon to be written so there may be a soundtrack brewing that I haven’t even heard yet. 🙂

Having lunch and re-writing a stray scene written earlier to fit better into the current plotline. (The original was actually a bit of hoot, wherein I offed a girl who was based on an obnoxious commuter I had to deal with regularly. Unfortunately, it’s now flying in the face of the plotline that I’ve been working on.)  SO revision is the word of the day.

Full moon tonight. Hopefully I can grab some of that energy and get some things done. I know Bri and his dad were supposed to get together to do some work on the house, mostly re-doing some glazing and paint on our windows. The house is slowly coming along and hopefully will be ready for sale by the end of summer. We figure it’s gonna take some time to sell, the market being what it is. Job hunting for Seattle will probably start around the same time. We’re targeting next summer for our move. Hopefully a change of scenery will bode well for both of us. Too much stress on the home front these days. (Not between Bri and me, from the outside. As per usual. )

Now. To writing and getting my work done.

Three days till VNV Nation/War Tapes/Ayria. WOO!
Have a War Tapes Vid!

Have a good day, everyone.

Now playing: Three Days Grace – I Hate Everything About You
via FoxyTunes

Monday post July Fourth MEH!

6 07 2009

Weather: High: 84 Degrees and Partly Sunny.
They taunt us with possible thunderstorms, but I don’t think they’ll pan out. Meh.

So this weekend was the Fourth of July weekend, that lovely extended weekend where all the Darwin Award candidates get drunk and try creative ways of offing themselves using barely legal explosives. Woo! Luckily for my sanity and the cat’s nerves, it rained most of the day on Saturday, quelling a lot of the detonations, though some persevered. At night, once the rain had stopped, the explosions started back up, making our neighborhood seem like a scene in a demilitarized zone, complete with wafting sulfur smoke and occasional sounds of pain when someone stood too close to something blowing up. We managed to escape any bottle rockets landing on our roof, though the kids across the street did shoot off M80’s until well past midnight.  Sigh. I don’t mind the celebration, though I will admit to grousing when it continues well into August. Thank you Indiana Legislature. ::grumbles::

Noisy idiots aside, the weekend was nice. Bri and I both got a lot done on our respective books. He managed to wade through all the image files for his flag book and get them pared down to what he actually needs. I managed to somehow reach the 81K  word count level, with an outline in my back pocket for the final few chapters. Now comes the actual writing. I’m not 100% satisfied with my chosen ending, but I think I’ll work that out in the editing phase.  Writing the  transition scene that bridges what I had to what I need to get written has almost been like pulling teeth.  Couldn’t get the characters to do what I needed them to do, so I have 11 pages of flailing towards a resolution. Def needs some re-working to maintain the emotional resonance of what they’re going through. Think I finally managed it with the last bit I wrote last night. Will have to go back through and rethink some of the wording. Also realized the need to re-address some plot points. There’s a scene missing somewhere in the middle that contains pertinent character development that has suddenly appeared in the most recent scenes. Just didn’t know it was needed back then.  So will be heading back into the Writer’s Cave for more commiserating with the muse.  And he’s getting more verbose as we go on. I think he’s pushing for a longer story than I intended to tell. Sigh. Damn cute emo rock star vampires.

Bri’s folks will be heading off to Ireland, as I’ve mentioned previously, and their trip will overlap our trip to Atlanta (DRAGON*CON FTW!). So needless to say we’re trying to finagle the best way for Snoots, Destroyer of Worlds, Paper Products and Berber Carpet, to get food, water and clean litterpan while we’re gone.  Already have a vaca feeder in place for dry food, so we just need to get a high volume water one as well. May have my mum do the stop over for mail and check the litter pan duty.

Got my Blood Ties DVDs last week and finally got around to watching them last night while I was writing. Amazing how much inspiration you can draw from that damn show! Of course, Kyle Schmid makes for very lovely visual input. And his embodiment of Henry Fitzroy is such silky snarky perfection, you just want to have your own characters have that same facility with words and action.

Kyle Schmid as Henry Fitzroy OM NOM NOM.

Kyle Schmid as Henry Fitzroy OM NOM NOM.

Yeah. Anyway. Sigh.

Finally saw Casino Royale this weekend as well. Yes, Daniel Craig is of the Nom! I really liked his take on Bond. Will have to track down Quantum of Solace as well. Rather like my Bond on the more brutal side. Why is it that the Brits can pull off that icy brutality better than anyone else? I mean, see Clive Owen for one. Dear benevolent deities he can be almost thuggish and I still want to climb him like a tree.  American actors seem to be able to do the scary violent types, but that particular brand of chilly restrained violence that is 10 times more scary? Only the Brits. Seriously.

Posted a piece of Flair on Facebook last week that got a lot of commentary. It merely said “I just want to tell stories and not have a shitty job”. I think that’s turned from a clever phrase into a manifesto of sorts. It’s getting to be almost a serious will power challenge to focus my attention on work related things. My brain is in constant story writing mode and I get a little feisty when I’m expected to set aside my musings and actually do work. The obvious downside is that with Brian still unemployed, the prospect of leaving my job, or more alarming, LOSING my job is a concern of no small consequence to us financially. It just bloody figures that the moment my damn muses show up and all the problems I was having writing vanish into the ether, that’s when life decides to yank the proverbial rug out from under us. Guess I should have seen that coming all things considered. We’ve had a banner fucking few years now. Since 2005, things have just not recovered. I still hold that it’s the universe giving us a bitchslap to the head because we’re still stuck where we are and are not where we should be. Yup. Makes sense.

Anyway. Need to go pour some time into the story and get a few bajillion things done on the work front.

Here: Have a vid for your day.
Ayria — My Device (They’re opening for VNV Nation this friday, along with War Tapes. WOO !)

Now playing: Hooverphonic – Vinegar & Salt
via FoxyTunes

Monday and it really feels like it…

16 03 2009

Weather: High: 69 degrees (woo!) and sunny.

Managed to survive bossless week and a rather disheartening weekend.

Finances= Teh Suckorrr! Most of my paycheck was sucked into the oblivion known as bills. Managed to get out to Costco this weekend and actually did a stellar job of stocking up on what we needed and saved a little over a hundred dollars doing so. Very proud of ourselves for not buying trivial stuff (we’re stocked up on cat food for the next two months! ) and nothing we won’t be able to store and therefore get our money’s worth.

Still gobsmacked that Neil Gaiman is gonna be on the Colbert report tonight. Woot!

Watched the shuttle launch yesterday. Found it sad that we felt more nervous about the potential for an accident than just enjoying the wonderment of the endeavour.  Used to be we would all be so excited for a launch,  now we spend most of the time bitning our fingernails wondering if it will clear the atmosphere in one piece. Such is the nature of an accident and tragedy strewn history.

Saw a few things over the weekend that I really enjoyed. First, Russel Brand’s comedy special on Comedy Central was HILARIOUS.  I’ve alwasy held that he’s a better stand up than show host. He even skewered the whole MTV awards debacle by reading what was originally scripted for the show. Very funny. I have to get my hands on his book.  Also, Bri and I caught Penelope on cable and really liked it. For me there was James “nom nom nom” McAvoy and hey wasn’t that Russel Brand in a cameo? And Nick Frost? It was a beautifully filmed movie and the story wasn’t  as straightforward or cliche as the critics would have you believe.

Day has gotten away from me again.


Have some Russel Brand to cheer you up.
This is the full length Response to Death Threats bit. HYSTERICAL

Bossless Week: Day 1

10 03 2009

weather: Just Yuck. High: 54 Degrees. Heavy rain and craploads of wind later. Just major YUCK!

Boss is in DC for the rest of the week, so I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed that there will be little in the way of chaos this week.

My brother is conducting his annual Paddy Rock Marathon for St Patrick’s Day. (Click on the link for the radio show (all 6 hours of it!)

Listening to my ANGER mix at work right now. Mostly rock, some metal, almost all abrasive, get your adrenaline flowing type tunes. Right now it’s She Wants Revenge, and I’ve already jammed to Anthrax, Def Leppard and Apocalyptica. Feeling all energized and wanting to go to battle. And today it’s the war of DATA ENTRY! ::pummels keyboard into submission::

Am too easily distracted today.  Need to get focused… OH SHINY!
MUST HAVE! MINE MINE MINE! (Umbrella Academy Action Figures if you don’t want to click)

Wish the weather would let up a little. The heavy rain is causing trickle level leaks in our basement. Non damaging so far. Just irritation.

Well, it looks like the Little Cal river is topping it’s banks again. Sigh. It’s running a little under a foot over flood stage right now.  The in-laws are worrying down in Florida and I can’t say I blame them.

Just a side note. Not really apropos of anything, but reading that Neil Gaiman’s dad passed away triggered my own feelings about my own dad. Been kind of in a haze the past few days. Realize that the anniversary is coming up in May and I still haven’t quite accepted that he’s gone.  I really really miss him. And there are days that I keenly hurt because I can’t talk to him or get his advice on some things.

Have decided that Rush Limbaugh is a big ole Drama Queen. Why else would he be so damn shouty and use ridiculous metaphors and poke bears with sharp sticks the way he does? Just an observation, mind you.  Not that there aren’t Drama Queens on all sides of the political sphere. (Keith Olbermann, I’m looking at you! I love you, but you’re getting a little strident these days.)

News in general is starting to chap my ass. I agree with Brian and am pretty much sticking to the BBC News. They don’t sugar coat anything and are not given to idle comparisons that are ludicrous on the surface and flimsy underneath.  I’ll be perfectly honest, the 24 hour news cycle has pretty much ruined the news. IF it’s a slow news day, they grab at pretty much anything coming down the wire and run with it, substantiated or not. Getting a little tiresome. And shouty histrionics? If I want that, I can go visit any number of Twilight blogs or LiveJournal and watch the masses feed on each other.  (Sorry, LJ. I use you. I like you. But more often than not, you are festering pit of Vipers. And that’s on a good day.)


Gotta run and take care of the backup tapes and then make a mad dash for the train. Hopefully the weather will hold until I get there.

Here: Have a Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince trailer to improve your day. (ZOMG IS IT JULY YET??)

Bossless Tuesday. ::reaches for Migraine Meds::

3 03 2009

Weather: High: 29 Degrees and Partly sunny.

Boss is at the satellite office today to do some training so I’ve been left to my own devices. None of which keep the brokers from bothering me. Sigh.

Oy. Just realized today is my sixth anniversary here at my company. This is the longest I’ve held any job in my long and varied history. Double oy.

Need to get to finishing the plot bunny of DOOM (ie Librarian Clive Owen smut.) I keep coming up with brill lines and ideas. And they are just too damn distracting to keep in my head, especially at work.

Have whittered away my freetime today, and not on what I should have. Sigh. So much for my online hiatus. Can’t help it. Heather and I are just too chatty on the FB. LOL. I think we’ve fangirl’d Clive Owen so hard, he ‘s probably wondering what all the high pitched geebling is about.

Gotta wind this up. Sorry for the brevity, but I’ve actually been distracted a skosh today.

Have a video or two:
My Chem does Cabaret! (Mama Live. Srsly my fave song by them. )

And in keeping with the Rock does Cabaret:
Avenged Sevenfold- A Little Piece of Heaven[live] (Think Sweeney Todd here)

I would have also added Green Day’s “Misery” and Panic At the Disco’s entire first album, and the Dresden Dolls entire CAREER  for other Cabaret type music