Cold, damp and misty. Too soft a day to think…

13 11 2008

Weather: High: 52 degrees and mostly cloudy today.

Daily Om was apropos today:

Knowing Too Much
Ignorance Can Be Bliss

These days, we can know too much. And while it sometimes can be a great benefit to know the tiniest details of events, both bitter and sweet, there are also times when knowing less about the future, our situations, and the world can be beneficial. Being blissfully ignorant does not mean ignoring vital information or shutting out the world’s tragedies. Rather, it is a way to step away from knowledge that may only needlessly have a negative impact on your life experience. It’s not always necessary to expose yourself to information that will overwhelm you, hold you back, or cause you pain. Sometimes, ignorance can be truly blissful.

While having all the information you need can help you make an informed decision, sometimes knowing all the information can be excess. Especially when you are trying to pursue a goal, the knowledge of all the ways in which you might fail can keep you from even trying. Blissful ignorance can sometimes propel you forward because you never even knew that the possibility of failure existed. Ignorance can also be bliss when you are facing hardships. If circumstances force you to take on a job you dislike, you may enter your new situation with unpleasant and preconceived notions that can likely create the very scenarios you are dreading. Experiencing a situation with no expectations and no advanced notions can allow you to experience it as new, because your blissful ignorance prevented you from having any preset ideas.

There is nothing wrong with avoiding “too much information,” particularly when the knowledge isn’t going to serve you. When information is emotionally draining, impedes your progress, causes distress, or isn’t necessary to your experience, consider letting it pass you by. Remember the bliss of ignorance can sometimes be a gift.

Have to admit, this is one of my biggest stumbling blocks. The emphasis in the text is mine. And the second one especially is what seems to be giving me the hardest time. I’m an analyzer. Most often times an OVER analyzer. I have an almost OCD level need to pick things apart to their component parts. And then try and figure out the microscopic bits therin. I do the same thing to other aspects of my life. I parse information more than it needs to be. Bri’s seen me go on about some miniscule comment and ramble until I realize I’ve been talking for what seems like and hour and he’s starting to glaze over.I also can obsess on only the bad things in the news. And it hurts after a while.

My new challenge is to not worry about knowing everything about everything. I won’t look like an idiot if I’m not conversational on every topic in the known universe. (Although I will still twitch if I can’t google something to understand it. ) I realized of late that I’m becoming bogged down in facts and minutiae and not enjoying the simple idea itself. This is also what’s starting to weigh down my writing. If I continue to worry that one person will point out a non-essential fact and use it to dismiss my work, then I might as well hang it up now. I don’t have to be RIGHT about everything, just informed. There is no shame in being incorrect or not having all the facts. There IS shame in not admitting you might be wrong.

I need to get back to writing full time. I need to get my self image back on track. After seeing myself in my sister’s wedding photos, all the good self image I’d built up got flushed. I’m ridiculously out of shape. My knees are KILLING me constantly. And I know a BIG reason is the weight. No more excuses. And no more using the “I walk 8 blocks one way to work” as my excuse for not working out and cutting back on food. The walk to and from work hasn’t done much to limit my girth or help my heart rate. NO MORE EXCUSES.

On a GOOD note: Supernatural/CSI night. Not sure which one we’re watching tonight. Wish we had a DVR. Seriously.

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Catch up post….

6 06 2008

Weather for this week: SUCKS! Hot Humid, mid 80s all week. Storm on Wednesday night, and thunderstorms again today. Which only adds to the humidity. Gah!

Countdown to New York : 13 days!

Been a harrowing week, work wise and just in general, the Mercury Retrograde is kicking my ass! Communication hasn’t been the only thing snafu’d! My laptop is dead in the water. The power cord was not the culprit and it looks like I’m gonna have to suck it up and call Dell. That’s going to set me back anywhere from $160 to $500. Honestly, I could almost get a new laptop for the latter price through my office.  SIGH. And before you ask, yes the warranty’s lapsed. Double SIGH.

Have the new Ladytron album in my hot little hands, thanks to the lovely people at Amie Street! And ZOMG SO GOOD!!

as a matter of fact–Early Daily Vid Post:
Ladytron — Ghosts (BRAND SPANKING NEW!!)

and Old School Ladytron:
Destroy Everything You Touch

Playgirl

Behind the cut, Daily Om from yesterday about finding your spiritual path. I think I finally have mine! 🙂

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Feeling punky but philosophical…

9 04 2008

Weather: High-54 degrees (they LIIEEEE!) and partly sunny.

Feeling the full weight of my femaleness today. No TMI I promise. Needless to say, being at work is not improving my mood one jot. It’s funny because I’m so bloody verbose here and can’t be arsed to post (or even crosspost these entries) over at LiveJournal. I guess maybe I don’t have to filter my words here. ::shrugs:: It shouldn’t matter but it does.

Since I’m in such a godawful PMS/ misanthropic mood, I’m gonna post the Daily OM for today, because it nails what I’m trying to do. Trying to let go this uphill battle and let the universe go where it will. I’ve always been of the opinion that banging your head against a wall with no results does more damage to you than the wall. And sometimes you need to let go of an endeavor if even your best efforts are receiving no results. I know I’m supposed to write and I’m supposed to be living elsewhere and I’m supposed to be improving my health. All these things have taken a back seat to lesser endeavors. Less important, time sucking and stress inducing endeavors. Other people’s whims have been far too involved in our decision making as has procrastination, which is our own problem. I feel like we’re on the edge of some major life decisions, but we just can’t get our feet over the first hump. Hopefully this will change. It has to.

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Music: Electricity (OMD Cover)– Apoptygma Berzerk

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Oh! Thank the benevolent deities its Freitag!!

29 02 2008

Weather: High- 37 degrees with scattered Snow Flurries 

First off, and apropos, the Daily Om Horoscope for me says thus:

Unveiling Your Path
Capricorn Daily Horoscope

The desire to create a more meaningful life can drive you to step back from worldly concerns in order to make a mental survey of the recesses of your soul today. You may also be in a contemplative mood and ready to confront issues you have avoided for long stretches of time. In the peace of your private personal sanctuary, you’ll likely discover that your search for meaning involves an exploration of your inner complexities that takes you into the past, present, and future. If you allow yourself to follow the twisting paths of your soul, you can encounter significance where you least expected to find it. As you contemplate your life today, you will likely discover that the meaning you seek has been within you all along.

It is only when we actively seek to understand the composition of our lives that we can begin to truly comprehend the experiences that give meaning to our existence. Often, we expect life to be meaningful as a matter of course and encounter disappointment when we discover that life-changing events seems to progress in a haphazard fashion. Reflection is the act of thinking critically about that which has happened to you, is happening to you, and will happen to you. When you examine events in a analytical fashion, you begin to see that there your life follows a linear and logical progression. As you assess where you have been, your path is unveiled. When you reflect upon who you are and who you wish to become today, your personal journey will take on a new significance.

Couldn’t read better words today, FOR REALS!! Those of you who know me in Real Life know that this has been my struggle for a long time. I know vaguely what I want to be doing, I have several ideas where I want to go in life, and I know without any doubts in my head that I’m NOT where I should be. The corker is trying to figure out how to GET there. I firmly believe that we all have a path. Not necessarily a DESTINY mind you, because I think the end of the journey is incidental. I think its the journey that we’re SUPPOSED to go on that eludes most people. This is why we have many people leading lives of “quiet desperation”. It’s that gnawing feeling that the cogs in the wheels are not quite clicking into place in your life as time goes by. And it has little to do with material gain or personal reputation. It goes much deeper than that.

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