Ah…Monday. And First Day of Fall. 2008, please stop sucking now.

22 09 2008

weather: warmer than it should be–past 4 days have all pushed the 80 envelope. Sunny, thank the gods.

So…my weekend. Yeah. Mostly taken up with hacking up the carpet in the basement, moving furniture around, wet vaccing the floor underneath which was coated in a combination of dirt and mildew, and all the while trying to keep the cat from eating the bits and pieces lying around after pulling the carpet up. To add insult to injury, our air conditioning stopped working Saturday night and our phone stopped working as of Sunday morning. Neither are related and we’ve checked all the usual suspects. So we wait on the avilability of a phone tech and possibly a cousin to come over and check the air conditioning.

The days pass and as each one goes, I find another reason to throw on the “Why we want to move” pile.  Criticisms from hypocritical extended family members, the house issues, the money issues, the lack of having anything in common with the people in our area, the rednecks, the bigots, the non-artistic community, the weather– yeah we have a list that just keeps getting longer.

I have GOT to get back to writing. That little side vampire story I was just puttering around with to rid myself of the plot bunny? Has turned into an amusing little anti-cliche vampire novel. I’m literally going out of my way to tip the usual cliches on their head. I’m not talking about the vampire nature, necessarily as we’re still talking fangs and blood and sunlight=owie! and such, but instead of using the usual verbiage and tired “turning” stories, and mopey “oh my pained existence” and “female character seduced into the world of vampires” crap? I’m disposing of that rather viciously. There’s no vampire society structure, and even though the vamps in my story are in a rock band, it’s not a “world famous” band, and they’re not “too cool for school”, they’re kinda dorks. And not really that fond of each other. The female lead is young and in the magazine publishing industry and seriously not that impressed with the main male lead. She’s intrigued and there is a murder mystery and some rather graphic sex and violence, because, lets face it, I can’t write vampire stories without it. But she’s not some wide-eyed innocent in any context. She’s not some reminder of his mortality. Nope. Not in MY story. SHould prove interesting if I ever get to spend some damn time on it. Jaden and Angelica are still poking me for attention, and I have that scene with Zinda percolating.

Having weird aches and pains today. Sharp pains under the left side of my ribcage, somewhere between my lung and stomach. Not sure what that means. Could be stress related or digestion…I’m getting a little tired of feeling sick all the time.  ETA: Well…crap. looks like I have all the symptoms of gall stones. Sigh. hopefully I’m incorrect on this. Though considering my mum, my aunt and my grandmother all had them? Odds on are I might have them as well.  Better get my insurance taken care of so I can see what the hell’s going on.

Bri just called — the in-laws house will need some shoring up in the foundation and new wiring and new duct work. Oy.

Gonna head on home as it is HEROES PREMIERE NIGHT ZOMG!!!

Here: Have an Abney Park Radiohead cover, because you’ve been good!
(ZOMG, Capt. Robert’s voice is AMAZING on this!) It’s live so the visual is a little sketchy.


Thursday and I still can’t be arsed….

18 09 2008

weather: Continued sunny and mid 70s.

I’ll update on the flood situation at the end of this post. Right now, I want to write about what’s been on my mind the past two days. I’ve come to realize that I’m not as strong as I’d like to think. But there is a part of my nature that is very dark and is jockeying for the driver’s seat right now. I’m not talking melodramatic, “I’m soooo dark and scary”. I mean that dark, primal energy that can push the predatory nature that lies at every person’s core to the surface. The nature that makes you want to bite and snap at weaker people. The part of me that feels weirdly comfortable and tends to show up in my fiction. The part that is enamored with vampires and the darkly sexual. Without starting to sound like purple prose, I want to point out that this aspect of my personality has nothing to do with wanting to commit violence or hurt things or people. Just the opposite. It makes me want to hole up and be AWAY from things. Just wallow in sensation and my thoughts.

The problem is it can be damn distracting and makes me lose focus. This is not good when I’m supposed to be working.

I’ve come to realize that when the stress becomes too much for me to deal with and I have no other outlet, this side of my persona claws it’s way to the surface. And people notice. They tell me I get terse, almost cold about things. Is it my psyche doing it’s best to prevent the meltdown? Probably.

Flood update:

We’re still getting stuff out of the basement and I pulled something like 17 gallons of water out of the carpets last night.  WE’re going to get some professional cleaners in to assess whether the carpet is salvageable or not. (I’m thinking NOT. )

The in-laws house is undergoing inspection right now. We’re praying for a green tag so we can get in to assess what’s been damaged. If we get a red tag, they’ll have to wait until the house is deemed safe to enter. With all the sewage, gas and oil in the water, it’s not something you can risk. Add in possible gas leaks  (there was already a house explosion near there) and electrical shorts, and its gonna be a tough going.

Again, my emotions have been stifled for a few days now. I imagine a good old fashioned breakdown is in the offing.


I really really hope all this stuff ends soon. 2008 can stop sucking anytime now.