Weather: Normal winter stuffs- Cold temps, wet conditions…a little too much gray for me, though.
So I celebrated my 54th trip around the sun this week, which was both harrowing and underwhelming at the same time. Next year will be a telling year, because the middle of the decade always turns out to be a significant year for me. This time? Well, I was dealing with some brand new health shenanigans (Oh hello, Menopause! Nice of you to show up ALL AT ONCE!) plus associated sleep issues and anxiety. FUN! 👍
I did the usual things I do on my birthday: Take an annual selfie which shows the accumulation of silver hairs and facial lines, check my “If you were born on this day” horoscope, and check my social media to respond to any well wishes that might have come in. The festive tinsel was minimal and surprisingly few lines considering the previous year, but the wear and tear shows elsewhere. The eyes are weary, the shoulders a little slumped, the smile a little brittle. It leaks out after a while.
I’m looking so forward to Wednesday this week, Inauguration Day. It seems like a lot of us have been holding our breath after last week’s asshole/sedition coup attempt. So many people look at the incident and seem shocked that it happened. I’m trying to figure out what they didn’t see the last few decades that a lot of us observed warily, that if you feed people resentment and lies and point fingers at the “others” who have caused all their problems. Accountability, responsibility and empathy have all been decimated, crushed under the wheels of self-righteous narcissistic butt-hurt, fueled by people with agendas that had little to do with helping anyone but themselves. Were there legitimate grievances? Of course. But the solutions provided were band-aids and didn’t require anyone to actually put some personal skin in the game. It’s time for some serious self- analysis. We are all a bit complicit in this. I know I haven’t done as much as I could to contribute to fixing some things. Not everything is out of our control, and the things that are, we can still help ease some of the problems a bit. Community is important and I think we’ve all kinda lost sight of that a bit.
The political issues aside, January so far has been actually not bad for me and the fam. We have managed to find ways to save money, and have a had a few small windfalls here and there that have taken a bit of the financial worries off our shoulders. The general overall sense has been one of wary optimism. I’ll take the small victories when they come.
Birthdays have a way of focusing on fresh starts, and coming to terms with the advance of time. I don’t fret getting older, but I do fret about losing time to get some things accomplished. And I worry that I’m not doing enough to get my health sorted. This year is no different, although I have already started working on a new path of sorts. The often described definition of Insanity is continuing to try the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Time to get off the hamster wheel and try things a new way. I’ve already changed up my daily routine and I’m slotting time for my project work in a way that is more structured than before.
Minimalism is playing a big part in my changes as well. Less about just getting rid of stuff, I’m throwing some Marie Kondo at it and deciding whether it serves a purpose before dispensing with it. Nostalgia is not a reason to keep things, nor is “it might be useful later”. I’ve been a notorious pack rat and collector for years. I literally just dumped 7 binders of collected fandom articles and photos that I’d carted around for decades. Felt a huge weight lift as I carted it all off to recycling. I still have the memories and a lot of it is available digitally. No loss there.
I’m also trying to change how much of a hermit I’ve become. It’s amazing how just stepping outside for a few moments, or taking a walk, clears my head and removes a lot of the cobwebs. If I find I’ve been sitting staring at my laptop or phone for too long, I ask myself, How is this helping you? What exactly is this time serving? And then I go do something else. It’s amazing how much better I feel afterwards.
All in all , I’m not weighing this new year down with lofty expectations. I’m more or less trying to change tactics and plans, and see if it actually helps me progress. If I’m doing better next week, than I am this week, I’ll consider that progress and probably a good positive change. More sleep, better food choices, more movement, more hydration, and stress reduction seems to be the best route for better health this year. So would that be my resolution list for now? Maybe. But I find as I get older, a positive mindset and not stressing over every little thing has a bigger impact on my productivity and my health than anything else. The only goals I need to meet is being alive and reasonably content. That seems like an easy enough bar to surmount.
Take a breath and treat yourself with some gentle respect. You’ll get a lot farther and you’ll be a lot happier.