NaNoWriMo Day #30- Time for a creative revolt

30 11 2016

Weather: Weird end to a Weird Month. Been in the low 50s and WINDY. Having intermittent rain. Just odd. Next week?  Here’s the snow we’ve been not seeing. Hello December.

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Yep. Got to 50 K. Validated and everything. And it’s a giant mess. Sigh. Well, I was mostly aiming just to get the structure of the thing in place. I think I will feel better once all the jagged edges are better stitched together.

November 2016 has been, for lack of a better phrase, a bit of a dumpster fire. Between this clown car of an election and the crazy series of events that seems to be following and the added deaths that the bloody Grim Reaper that is 2016 has racked up…I’ll be more than happy to see the backside of this year.

I found that I’ve spent more time away from social media and the news, and truth be told, I feel better mentally for it.

Probably a good sign that I need to get out of the online cesspool and back into life again. Studio time has been languishing for no good reason. Creative deep diving always makes me feel better, so I may need to take a moment and analyze why I’ve not been indulging.

I read the below post recently and it’s served as a bit of perspective and calming reassessment of all things that are currently giving me indigestion. Read it and take a  moment to breathe. And consider all the ways there are to battle cruelty and darkness and ugliness in this current time. Not all battles require fists and angry retorts. Sometimes our energy is better spent facing down the awful with overwhelming beauty and compassion. Shame the terrible venom by drowning it out with cavernous shining art and creative output. There is plenty of room  in the battle for both the hard and soft approach. (Keeps ’em off balance. 😉 )

There is no time for despair

I’m off to spend some time away from my keyboard for a bit.

Keep making art. Keep writing. Keep making music. BE CREATIVE.

Bullies and demagogues have no defense against those who refuse to engage and step around them. Sometimes we shine a light on dark things to make sure they don’t take root. Other times we starve them of attention so they wither on the vine. Both methods are effective and they work in concert beautifully.

Art can be reactive and proactive. Do both. Do it all.

Words can be weapons, sharp and subtle in the same breath. Images can soothe and disturb and incite and reassure. Music can inspire  or commiserate. Bring all your emotions and stories and statements out.

Make Art. Everyday.

 





Final Lap on my Forties

13 01 2016

Weather: January. Snow. Wind. Crappy roads. Lather Rinse Repeat. (Been in the Teens, temps wise. But yeah. Unrelenting winds, snow and shoveling. )

So yesterday was my birthday. And as the second half of my life approaches,  I didn’t post on the day but after.

Had a lot of mulling to do. My Birthday posts tend to have a lot of mulling. I think there’s an obscure law somewhere about that.

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Jack London, who shares my birthday, is saying very much where I landed after a lot of thinky thoughts. And wine.

I decided that, since I was turning 49 and about to face that dubious benchmark year of 50 on the very near horizon, I needed to do something this year to give my forties a proper send off.

My forties have been very good, catastrophic medical incident aside. (Every decade has an outlier.) I’ve managed to accomplish a lot of things: Moving out of Indiana, getting a working studio, buying a house, and finally getting the gumption to get motivated about things again. It’s been a lengthy transition decade.

So I figured, why not do something akin to a bucket list, without the Sword of Damocles of Death hanging over the end of it? An anti-bucket list of sorts. I’m going to try and do something I’ve never done before, every week this year. I’m not making a checklist in advance. Instead, I’m just going to try something new or accomplish some new goal every week. This will give me roughly 50 new experiences by the time my 50th birthday rolls around. I think that’s a doable goal and what the hell, why not?

I’m not making a checklist because things and opportunities crop up all the time,  and then the list either gets longer or things get knocked off because of no time. Nah. I’ll fill in the blanks as I go. And they don’t have to be world changing, life altering things. Just something new.

Truth is…I’m kinda bored with things right now. I find myself slipping back in to old habits, mostly the bad kind, when I get bored. So, I’m giving myself a challenge and a deadline. I love deadlines. Seriously, it’s amazing what I can get done if I have a deadline. And a challenge? Hoo boy. Let me tell you a little secret about me. I’m a ragingly competitive person. I just don’t activate that part of myself very often. Mostly because I can turn into an asshole.

People wonder why I avoid sports or video games– That’s why. Husbeast has seen some glimpses of it, and he gets that worried look when it shows up.  I need a healthy way to be competitive. So I compete with myself. Usually by playing games that don’t require an opponent other than myself. Or I give myself a rigid deadline for some challenging task. (NaNoWriMo is an excellent example. I will  go without sleep or potty breaks to make that deadline. Which is why I tend to “Win” when I decide to do it. )
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I’m hoping that I can direct some of that self-competitive energy into getting healthy as well. Sometimes it’s as easy as daring myself to do something. Go without a particular type of food for a while. Hit a particular fitness goal I may have not reached before.

My biggest obstacle, is sadly ALSO myself. Because I can both talk myself out of doing things with extremely  compelling and elaborate excuses and also enable bad behavior by dressing it up as a reward for good behavior (Went to the gym for 5 days straight–I deserve an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s.) 

So this is a series of challenges wrapped in a bigger challenge. (Challenge Inception?).

The smaller challenges are to keep me from being bored. The bigger over all challenge? To not get derailed and sidelined by my too easily distracted or enabled self.

I think I can do it. And that will make me happy. I’d like to enter the second half of my life with fewer potential regrets (balanced on top of the idea that getting older may not keep you from doing something, but it makes some things a little less easy or possible.)

On a side note, I’m still kind of in denial about Bowie. It’s hard to accept he’s gone, but as many have said, his legacy is long and will last. I intend to keep a small bit of stardust in my soul, to keep his unwavering artistic energy alive. It’s the tiny way I can honor his artistry and spirit.

So that’s pretty much the holy all of it. I’ll be posting at least weekly, updating on the things I’ve accomplished and sharing the experiences. Husbeast is on board as well, at least in the supporting me in doing this. (He’s gonna be along for the ride on a few things. I’m sure he’ll be giving me that raised eyebrow look when he reads that. 😀 )

So 49 years. 49 trips around the sun. Not as much to show for it as I would have hoped, but still plenty to be proud of, so there’s a nice balance there.

Here’s hoping the year unfolds with less stumbling blocks and few more accomplishments I can add to my dusty shelf.

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