DO NOT WANT! (-20 windchill)

22 12 2008

weather: CANADA! TAKE IT BACK! High: 7 degrees. Currently -7 with -20 windchill. Snow later

So. Still having stomach issues.  I’ve woken up every morning since last Thursday feeling queasy. And before anyone suggests a specfic possibility, trust me it’s not an option. There is no way I’m preggers. Zero chance.

This seems to be completly stomach centered. I need to see a doctor about it, which should be entertaining considering my lack of health insurance at the moment.

Holiday shopping is DONE thank the benevolent deities. This year has been extremely off kilter. It doesn’t feel like the holidays, our health has been for crap and the weather…well you know about the weather.  Now it’s looking like the actual holidays are going to be a bit of a cluster f*ck due to travel c*ck ups and tense emotions. Sigh. I remember when I used to look forward to the holidays.

Have started making the list of things I want to change after the new year, both physical and mental. Two at the top: Dye my hair black and get my ears pierced again. I’ve had mismatched ears for a bit too long now. (One in one ear, two in the other.)  So I’m thinking 3 and 3 would be better suited.  Further down the list are my long lamented tattoo and possibly an additional piercing to be named later.

On the other things list: Get at least 2 manuscripts finished and submitted. Time to start walking the walk instead of paying it lip service. Move. (This is entirely for our mental health. It’s WAAAY past due). Get myself healthy again. The constant little aches, pains and lingering colds and flu are no longer just inconvenieces.  They’re keeping me frompursuing the things I need to do.  Get some damn health insurance and get myself checked out in ALL the ways possible.  Spend more time with Brian-travel, walking, chatting,….and shagging. AS MUCH AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. VBEG.

The need to write…and it’s turned into a NEED…is getting hard to ignore. I’m finding myself keeping a Word Window open at all times at work so I can type a bit here and there when I get spare moments. (It’s autosaved to a flashdrive so I can take it home and polish at night) .  But here’s the thing, I’m writing instead of taking notes in training (hello college flashback) and am carving out time to write that should be spent on work. I think that says something. Probably that I’m going to get my ass canned if I don’t get some discipline.

Even when I’m at home, I’m pretty much umbilically attached to my laptop (how Giger-esque of me) and have a stack of Moleskines at my side.  I guess maybe I finally slid sideways into paying some serious attention to my craft and it’s such a nice chnge from the struggle and writer’s block and self-doubt I’ve had that it’s kind of thrown me.

Wish I could do this full time, without the pressure of money needs. Bri keeps joking that he can’t wait for my first multi million dollar advance so he can finally fullfill his dream of being a kept man. I usually respond dryly that when I get my first book published and the nickles come rolling in, then we’ll talk.  (Yes I’m not that naive to think that I’ll EVER get that kind of money. I’d just like to see one of my titles on a shelf. That would make me happy. )

Anyway. Gotta dash. Time to get the hell home and hope whatever is scratching at my throat buggers off overnight. Last thing I need is a recurrence of the flu right before the holidays.

Video for the day:
NEW Apoptygma Berzerk — Apollo (Live on YourTV)
(A lot of the old school Apop fans hate their new stuff, I LOVE IT. )

Have a good evening.



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