::Stabs internet with a rusty spork::

29 07 2008

weather: Just the fifth ring of hell!! High: 89 with heat index of 96 because of the humidity. KILL ME NOW!

So came into work this morning to a completely screwed up internet and a lot of irritated people. Great. So now it’s 1:00 and I’ve gotten virtually nothing done, have a migraine and feel like the world is about to come crashing down around my ears.

On a happier note, Bri and I watched Heima, the Sigur Rós documentary/concert film on Sundance Channel. What an amazing film. We were just entranced. The visuals were amazing. Iceland is so beautiful and we both have wanted to visit there for a very long time. And with the band playing their icy soundscapes with that as a backdrop–just a soul stirring experience.  It was so overwhelming that after it was done, there was nothing else on the telly I wanted to watch. It all seemed so loud and grating.  Is it so bad that I just want to up and move me and the hubby and the cat to a farm in the middle of nowhere because people in general are annoying and making me want to kick them?

Yes, the misanthropy haze is back. People for the most part are giving me migraines and I’m sick to death of dealing with them.

I’ve described a depression spiral to Brian before as walking around feeling like you’re wrapped in cotton–the sounds and sights are all dulled down, along with your emotions. The only thing heightened is pain. Not sharp pain mind you, just a dull aching pain that makes you feel sad and exhausted and just not wanting to deal with anything. I get these spirals more often now than I have in a long while.  It’s never good when they hit at work. IT breeds apathy and anger and resentment, which doesn’t lead to getting much done. And people who don’t understand try to “cheer you up” not understanding they are poking a bear with a sharp stick.

On a separate note, I’ve joined a writer’s group online, “Muses Gift”, which is a yahoo group formed by a bunch of my writerly friends to discuss our writing, share some tips and get our work critiqued. Hopefully this input will help me re-find the discipline to get my damn stories done.  Hit a wall again last night, but I think that I had too much on my mind to focus. Sigh.

Enough of my burbling. Have some Sigur Rós to calm your soul:






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