It’s definitely a Disintegration Era Cure kinda Day…

10 06 2008

Weather: High: 81 & sunny (Humidity go bye bye!) Cool this morning.

Even though the sun is high in the sky, I feel overcast in the head. I think I’m a skosh overwhelmed right now.

My writing has come to a stand still and there is a lot of personal REAL LIFE stuff on my plate that I’m trying very hard to sort through. This whole prepping the house and getting ready to move is a BIG DEAL.

Still, if I can force myself to have some perspective, this too shall subside.  I’m hoping it’s just all the hormones making me confuzzled.  I am seriously worried about Apache though.  She’s lost a lot of weight and is not looking all that great. I know the cancer is not going away, I just hoped it would stay away longer. I know she isn’t long for this world and a big part of me has accepted this. But there’s a very strong smaller part of me who is scared and sad and doesn’t want to be the one to make the decision to take her life. Even if it is for the best. this is the first real pet that has been solely my own. I’ve lost pets before, but she’s MINE.  And she’s been my companion for almost 11 years now. How do I say goodbye to her? This feels suddenly like what we went through with dad. And now I’m really not doing well with this. At all.

Sigh. This was totally NOT the direction I had planned to go with this post. Double sigh.

Anyway. Between my guts trying to tie themselves in knots right now and some co-workers doing their damned best to make be rip out their spleen and beat them with it, yeah.  Not really having a Mary Fucking Sunshiney day.

::takes breath::

How about some video to cleanse the emotional palate?

Daily Vid

Smashing Pumpkins –Zero (I’d forgotten how much I love this video. Nicely gothy and disturbing. Besides, it’s one of my fave Pumpkins songs. )


Avenged Sevenfold — Afterlife (Avenged Sevenfold are one of those bands I just like. Metal, Yes. Melodic, yes. Nicely dark and disturbing lyrics, yes. And neat videos. I LIKE THEM. FUll Stop)

The Cure — Lullaby (Just to tie in the subject line. And I love this nicely creepy video)

Till tomorrow everyone. I’ll try and get the EMO beat outta me tonight. 😉

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