Monday: The maligned start of the work week…

30 06 2008

Weather: High–77 degrees and partly sunny.

Well, I’ll deal with the elephant in the room first. I’m okay. Apache’s passing hit me hard, but relief at the ease in her pain has overtaken my sadness at her loss. I think I’ve seen her twice in the house already, so I think she may be lurking. I did a small release ceremony for her on Saturday evening. I asked the Lady Bast to intercede and help her across. I felt when she went and there was a large overwhelming sense of peace. Maybe that’s why I’m not bawling constantly. I miss her but she’s happier now.

Now onto things of a less melancholy nature.

Went and saw Wanted on Saturday. I needed out of the house and we figured mindless violence might counteract my anger and sadness. And god love em, it did. I’ve seen a lot of pooh-poohing the movie across the intrawebs, mostly by people who are wont to pooh-pooh anything that doesn’t fit their tiny definition of “good film”. This was a popcorn film in the best possible sense. Black humour, ultra-violence, and various states of undress for the cast members. Woot! I loved it.  It was snarky and visually stunning and yes, required an IMMENSE suspension of disbelief. It wasn’t supposed to be a frikkin’ documentary or straightforward drama. GET OVER IT PEOPLE! I came out of it with a huge smile on my face, which was amazing considering the circumstances. Really wanted to get in shape, get a tattoo and take up some assassin training. SRSLY!

Work is extremely busy today so I’m gonna cut this short. End of month and more projects that need some attention.

More tomorrow including my long awaited New York Trip write up part 2!

Daily Vid:

A Bit of Wanted, just for kicks. This is the R-rated trailer, so probably NSFW.

RIP Apache.

28 06 2008

She’s gone. It was so quick I haven’t even registered it happened.

I can’t get my heart to stop hurting.

It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all. I should have been able to fix her, save her.

I don’t care if it’s irrational or silly or illogical. I fucking hate cancer. It keeps taking those I love.

I miss my furry little princess. She was always on my lap or on my chest, purring away. She was at turns, affectionate, hostile, funny, scary and always herself.

I’ll be lucky to get another like her. I love Snoots to distraction, don’t get me wrong. But his personlity is polar opposite Apache’s. (He’s Still affectionate as hell and purrs up a storm, but he’s not a lap kittie. )

So my sweet little girl, be at rest, be at peace.  No more pain or weakness to hamper you. Only sun and plenty of things to stalk and play with.

Take care of my dad and Puca and Sam and Chaucer, where ever you all are.

Still in a numb haze…

27 06 2008

Weather: High –84 degrees and stormy. Fits my mood.

I’m still too caught up in what we have to do tomorrow to really focus enough for a proper post.

I love my cats. Understand that at age 40, and being without kids so far, they ARE my kids. I treat them as members of the family.  Yes I trat them as pets as well. I’m not one of those eejits that dresses up their cats or pushes them in baby carriages. Not a nutcase about it. I just believe that they deserve to be treated well, fed and kept comfortable. For this we receive unconditional love and, if they’re feeling magnanimous, some purring and cuddling .

Having to euthanize a member of the family is bad enough.  But even though I KNOW Apache is terminally ill. Even though I can feel the lumps on her belly and see her lethargy, there is a small, vocal part of my brain that sees her walking around, eating and even poking at her toys that says– “She’s not really dying. If she were dying she’d be laying in her bed unable to move.” It’s a stupid and small distinction, but it’s fueling all my guilt.

I think if I’m up to it, Bri and I will go see Wanted so I can vent my anger and frustration and watch hot actors on the screen. Not much to ask for is it?

Wednesday worries and wishes…

25 06 2008

weather: high –83 degrees and RAIN. Looks like it’s gonna be time to build the ark soon.

Brian’s taking Apache to the vet this morning. Depending on what the vet says, she’s either going to need surgery or she is at the end of her fight. Either way, it’s not going to be good news. She lost more weight while we were gone. And I don’t think she’s used the litter pan in a few days. And all symptoms point to her kidneys going. I’m sad, but resigned. She’s had so many issues lately, I think she’s just tired. She looks at me every so often and the look in her eyes hurts to see.

SIde Note– Brian’s called twice now because Miss Apache is not cooperating and getting in the carrier. Now she’s hiding under the bed. I really shouldn’t be laughing. But I am.

ETA:  Apache’s cancer is back. And metastasized. We’ll be putting her to sleep on Saturday. My little girl is finally leaving us. I only hope she finds peace.

I’m going to cut this here. I can’t even think straight right now.

Back from New York and feeling fine!

24 06 2008

Weather: Today- 81 Degrees and partly sunny!

So. New York.

All in all, I think 90% of my negative preconceptions were blown away. And 90% of my good ones remain intact.

We flew out from Midway in Chicago on Thursday morning, a rather turbulent flight for me. Bri was unaffected and makes the “She’s Loopy” hand motion when I mentioned this.  We arrived at LaGuardia Airport around 2:00 and were met by Terri and Keith with many a hug and big grin. We piled in the Funky Blue Van and were off to the Bronx where the wild writers live.

Got to Terri & Keith’s and got settled in. Met the furry children, Aoki and Marcus, (well, it was re-meet Marcus for me, since I knew him from when Terri & I lived in Boston) , and we were easily subdued by their feline charms. They are both two of the most loveable , sweet kittens ever to be seen.  🙂

While setting in to chat about stuff and what not and fandom galore, Laura Gilman swung by to join in our welcome party, to share pizza and some absolutely fabulous red wine. Terri and I reminisced a lot about the past, Keith and Laura entertained us with many many stories, and  much good fun was had.

On Friday we were up, caffeinated,  and out the door to go meet Laura again and head into Manhattan, where we visited Times Square (Somehow smaller in person, but good lord all the LIGHTS!), saw the size of god’s ego Toys R’ Us, where much squeeing was done, especially when Terri spotted the WALL-E remote controlled robot. ( Said item was purchased so fast I think the clerk’s head was spinning!) We stopped for lunch at the Europa cafe, then off to  see Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, which was wonderful! (Plus got to see the trailer for Twilight again. HEE! WOT?? DON’T JUDGE ME!!!!)  Back onto the subway where we were treated to impromptu theater when a rider on the subway took exception to our rather animated discussion and proceeded to move to the far side of the car and relate this to his friend, loudly and drunkenly. We were amused and just continued on our merry way.

We then stopped back at Chez Terri & Keith to clean up and waited fro Keith’s Dad to pick us up for dinner. We were taken out to the absolutely fantastic Mario’s, where we met up with Keith’s mom- Grace Anne, who is possibly the most incredibly warm and lively person I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. Both his parents are great conversationalists and we had some really great conversations over dinner.  Also there were Laura, Helga and John (who share the house with Grace and Bob, Keith’s Dad), Keith’s cousin Elizabeth, and Aunt Livia.  We crowded around a big table and tucked in for some amazing Italian food that just left me gobsmacked. I had a spinach gnocchi that  was absolutely mouth watering. SOO GOOD!  Accompanied by some really good wine and finished off with some dessert that was so rich, I swear I was in a coma for the rest of the evening.

After dinner, we headed back to Terri and Keith’s, stopping by Elizabeth’s apartment (She lives in the same building as Terri & Keith) for some very tasty homemade ice cream. (Espresso chocolate & mint chocolate chip. NOM NOM NOM!) Sleep hit us like a brick and we had a big day planned for Saturday, so off to sleep we went.

Part Two of the trip later.

You can go see some of the pictures from the trip here.

Day Before Vacation Squee & Random Fest

18 06 2008

Weather: High — 72 degrees & partly sunny!

Can’t really complain again today. Nice cool breeze to counteract the sun. Me likey!

So! Tomorrow we’ll be on the plane to New York. I’m alternately exilirated and terrified. Flying just hasn’t been the same for me lately.

Apache is still acting worrysome. Slow to move, not eating as much. Even turned her nose up at some milk this morning, which is definitely not like her. Sigh. I really and truly hope she’s not going to leave us while we’re gone.

Just found out one of the brokers who used to work here (and had retired) passed away. This is the 4th person I know who worked her who’s passed away while I’ve been here. I guess it’s expected with the average age of people here being over 65. Still is strange for me, and sad as well. The people who’ve died were all very nice and were always good to me.

Have a lot to do today, so this will be short!

Daily Vids will resume when I get back!

Tuesday Musings of no consequence

17 06 2008

Weather: High–74 degrees and wayyyy sunny!

Had a nice walk into work this morning, what with the unseasonably cool temps and all. We’re getting the GOOD aspects of the weird weather, though I feel really horrible for what the people in Iowa, Wisconsin and Mid Indiana are dealing with right now. Katrina-like flooding, damaged homes, displacement and full loss of not only their homes but the land the homes were on. No climate change, my ass.

On a quick side political note, I was really impressed with Al Gore’s speech last night, when he endorsed Obama for President. He made a lot of the points I was waiting to hear from the dems. Also, I really like that neither he nor Obama let the crowd make disrespectful noises towards Hillary Clinton. I know I might just be a little optimistic here, but I honestly think if they can all (McCain included) keep this kind of respect intact, the election process might actually be a little clean for once and focused on the ISSUES not this stupid ass minutiae that has nothing to do with the position. Obama’s speech on Religion almost made me stand up and cheer. FINALLY someone took the bull by the horns and addressed the issue head on. And with eloquence and none histrionic tones. Done and done.

Feeling weirdly emo today. But on the good side of the fence for once. Excited about our trip to New York, seeing light at the end of the tunnel where the house is concerned, and feeling tremendously upbeat about moving and new paths ahead. Maybe someone slipped some Xanax in my coffee this morning. Who knows. The only concern on the spreadsheet is Miss Apache. She’s been having more down days than up days lately. I know we only have her for a limited time, but I don’t want that time to be bad for her. We won’t be able to get her to the vet before we leave and that is generating a great amount of guilt on my part. I love the little furball, but I don’t want to repeat the mistakes that were made with my dad.


On a totally aside note– Been having a growing addiction to the Ting Tings, and, GODDESS HELP ME, the new remixed Chris Brown song. ::facepalm:: Bri and I find ourselves chair dancing whenever it comes on. Without an ounce of shame, I might add. Can’t help it. The newest crop of R&B younglings are all taking a page from the EuroTechno book, thus sidestepping the usual crappiness that is American Dance music.

So without ado
DAILY VID (the earworm edition)
Blondie — Heart of Glass (this was the first ’45 I ever owned!!)

Echo & the Bunnymen — Lips Like Sugar (My husband is fond of singing along with this one. OF course he has an amazing baritone voice. )

Talk Talk — Talk Talk (I. FUCKING. LOVE. THIS. SONG.!!!!)

Post Father’s Day Pre New York City Haze…

16 06 2008

Weather: Weekend- Kinda hot and stormy, actually. Up in the 80’s a bit.
Today: High of 75, though it feels cooler. Woo!

Gearing up for New York and trying not to let my flying neurosis kick in. I am SO looking forward to this trip, Between work and home stuff, I’m clinging tenaciously to sanity by my rather brittle fingernails. Bri is about the same.

We still have a buttload of stuff that needs to get fixed around the house. When we get back from New York, I’ll have two major focuses. One is getting the new mortgage for the house so we can get the damn title finally over to our name. The second is my sister’s wedding. I have been a woefully bad Matron of Honor so far. Really need to step up and help out, seeing as my sister bent over backwards for mine. SIGH.

I feel so burnt out right now that I’m useless. I have things promised to many people and I just can’t seem to get the proverbial shit together. Not really whining, just stating as a fact. I really have a problem functioning right now. So vacation is definitely welcome. (Only concern is Apache, who’s health is on a rollercoaster right now. The in-laws will be stopping by every day to feed and water the little furballs, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about Miss Apache leaving us while we’re gone. There’s not much I can do about it either way. The vet has basically told us she’s winding down. We know the cancer’s not going away and she’s just slowly gearing down a little each day. )

Terri & Keith have a plethora of fun things planned for us when we get to NYC. We’ll be going to museums and restaurants and libraries, oh my! Not to mention going to a BBQ with a bunch of LiveJournal friends who live in the area. Always nice to put a face with an online persona. 🙂

And yes, we’re entering week two of Laptop Deathwatch. I probably won’t be able to get it in to be fixed until AFTER NYC, so I will be without Teh Interwebs and what not while I’m out there. Unless of course Miss Terri is sweet and let’s me use her ‘puter to check mail and what not. (I’m sure she will. She’s cool like dat.)

Anyway– I have to get back to work, as I have a week’s worth of stuff to cram into 3 days.

Many of my friends seem to be going through the reassess- retool-rejuvenate their lives. Maybe it’s just that time. We’re about to go through a new election and hopefully, regardless of who wins, we will have some new ideas to get us out of the mess we’re in. Maybe that’s just the precursor we’re feeling and want to do some housecleaning ourselves. ::muses::

Daily Vid:
Ting Tings –-Great DJ (Talk about an earworm song! )

Obligatory MUSE video!
Feeling Good (Nina Simone Cover) (::slobbers all over the desk:: Really love this cover!)

Paul Van Dyk —We Are Alive (Because we need one uplifting techno song for the day!)


Yesterday never happened. We will not speak of it…

13 06 2008

Weather: Yesterday? HOT & STEAMY! 90 degrees and Humid!
Today?: Not so bad. 81 degrees and some thunderstorms. Woo!

Getting ready for our NYC trip which can’t come too bloody soon. Work has piled the stress on this week. This weekend is Father’s Day, which has become bittersweet for me. And my brother’s birthday. I always feel ancient when I realize his age. (He’s 8 years younger than me). I had a brief emotional sag when he turned 21, and another when he turned 30. When he finally hits 40, I’m gonna really start feeling old!

ETA: Wow. Tim Russert died. 58 frikkin years old. Which is way too young to be dropping from a heart attack. I will miss his commentary come election night. My heart goes out to his family.

Well, looks like it’s gonna be a weak week for posting, folks. I”ll try and post somehting more substantive next week.

Daily Vids:
(Obligatory MUSE video for the day)
Muse — Bliss
(One of their cooler vids, visually stunning and Matt rocking the Manic Panic red hair.)

Ludo — Love Me Dead
(Mostly because they’re funny as hell, and also the song is catchy as hell)

And just because I’m loving their new stuff:
Coldplay — Violet Hill

Gremlins with ice picks are attacking me, I swear!

11 06 2008

Weather: High: 85 Degrees (GAH!) and sunny! The giant flaming ball of evil is BACK!

The subject line actually refers to how my insides feel right now. Must be having digestive issues again. GAH!

Random thought #1: If I wasn’t happily married, I would SO have Matt Bellamy’s little elven babies. SRSLY.

Well this weekend is booked up and makes it bloody impossible to get the house thoroughly cleaned before we leave for NYC next Thursday. (Squee)  Saturday we’ll be celebrating my brother’s birthday and Sunday is over to the in-laws for Father’s Day.

And I’m SOO looking forward to the trip to New York.  I’ll get to see a bunch of people, some I haven’t met in person before and at least one I’ve been friends with for over 20 years.

So. Still feeling punky and overwhelmed. This too shall pass.

Till tomorrow folks.

Daily Vid
Red Hot Chili Peppers–
Desecration Smile (Live @ Abbey Road) (Mostly because I just saw this performance the other night and loved it.  John Frusciante is just amazing. There’s a bit of Flea at the beginning.)

Snow Patrol w/Martha Wainwright — Set Fire to the Third Bar (Live @ Abbey Road) (Yes there’s a theme here. I just love their voices together. The chorus gives me chills)

Massive Attack w/Liz Fraser — Teardrop (Live @ Abbey Road) (Can you tell I love this bloody show?? This just had Bri and I gobsmacked. Such a fantastic version!)